Before send me that private message on my social media....

This one is for all the online lotharios, predators, and others who send DMs to me on social media.

First of all, NO, I do not want to see your dick pic. Honey, I am 60 years old, with a grown son. Which means that at some point, yes, I have already seen a dick, or I wouldn’t have my kid. Plus, having survived the sexual revolution of the 70’s, been a good soldier in it, AND was around during the heyday of chat, I’ve already seen more dicks, and pics of dicks than you can shake your dick at. Yours, is not going to send me into an orgasmic frenzy. Trust me on this. It takes a hell of a lot more than just a dick, much less a pic of a dick, to do that to me. 

Now, listen carefully to this warning. You do NOT want to fully explore my little mind. Along with some black holes others have gone down while screaming for help, the shit that can be going through my mind at any given moment is enough to send hardened psychopaths running for cover. 

For the love of everything! Do NOT try to shock me with sexual innuendos or even outright vulgarity because when the dust finally settles, you are going to be the one with your jaw on the floor. I am a well drillers daughter born and bred in the oil field. I also went to parties in the 70’s I had to be careful of not tripping on people fornicating all over the place while making my way to the bathroom. Only to discover fornicating people in bathroom when I got there. Then, the wonderfully wanton world of chat opened up to me. Man, did I have some fun there! And to top it all off, I also dabble in writing hardcore erotica. 

Which leads me to say that honestly, if you are an upstanding, good Christian man, in or out of the military, who is shy at first, but fun once you get to know him, what in the cornbread hell are you doing even THINKING about sending the likes of me a private message expressing a desire to get to know me better. You should be doing what your Christian mother told you to, and avoiding women like me. Now Shoo! 

Bookmark and Share