Many of my buddies from the chatrooms I hang out in have been unfortunate enough to have gotten onto my "Special Friends" mailing list.  To these poor souls I often send e-mail correspondence in which I let them know before anyone else, about such things as Beyond Blonde News Flashes. And such things as the Darwin Award Nominees, as well as special page updates. And sometimes, when feeling particularly perverse, I will send them little notes telling them what I have been up to that day.

Those of you who sign up for The Special Friends List or Mainliners List also get an update each week with a handy link to the New Jokes Section

And I alert them to new online dangers such as this:

Subject: Watch your eyeballs!!!

Ok friends now we all know about those little wide eyed aliens that will abduct people and perform all kinds of extensive examinations and probes on them. It just so happens I am currently working on a column about such abductions. And how we might could put those little wide eyed dudes to work for all humanity.

But apparently the aliens have discovered how to go online. Which when you think about it, seems perfectly logical. They can travel the universe, so learning how to go online should be a piece of cake for those little wide eyed dudes. Right?

Anyway, an online friend of mine, Aussie Jen, was telling me about an online encounter she had with a dude who claimed to be an alien. A horny alien at that. But he was bit too kinky even for my friend Jen. Seems he wanted to have carnal knowledge with her eyeballs. Yeah, really! This supposed alien wanted to have intimate hot carnal knowledge with Jen's eyeballs. No he didn't want to you know what them out of her. He simply wanted to you know what them period! Reckon this strange sexual behavior might be why those dudes are so wide eyed to begin with?

After talking to Jen, I decided I should maybe let my special friends know about this new online threat so ya'll could protect your eyeballs. Now you've been warned! Jen said this strange encounter occurred while she was on ICQ. But I bet those little wide eyed dudes have discovered AOL here in the States too, so watch out everybody! ;)

If for some strange reason you too would like to be on the Special Friends List then Click Here and type Special Friends in the subject window. Please note, those who sign up for the Mainliners List receive all those important Special Friends updates, as well as the Weekly Fix via Email.

Join the Mainliners List to receive the Special Friends updates and the Weekly Fix via Email each week.  To join the Mainliners List Click Here  and type Mainliners List in the subject window.

If after any period of time your mind can no longer take these little news flashes and updates, then simply reply to my latest Email and type something like, Get me the hell off this list!, in the subject window.
 

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